The First Episode of "Angel" From Memory.

In the not too distant future I will be doing my annual post on movies nominated for Oscars. Usually I finish it somewhere in early February after I have managed to see everything nominated in the four major categories and a portion of the animated and foreign films as well. I'm starting off strong this year with three Best Pictures, three animated, and one foreign under my belt already (usually I start off with way less).

But for now, let's get silly.

So about two weeks ago I decided I wanted to watch some episodes of Angel, frequently my default activity when I don't want to start a new series, can't find any movies I want to watch, and have left whatever book I'm reading in my desk at work. The problem was that I couldn't think of an Angel episode that I hadn't seen recently. It took me a second to realize that the answer to my question was the first nine episodes of the series. Then I had to contemplate why I not only haven't watched them recently but haven't watched them at all since I first saw them maybe five years ago and never watched them in the correct order because I was using streamed videos on a DSL internet that would load at irregular times.

Did I think the episodes were boring? Well, no. "Monster of the Week", yes but not necessarily boring.
Did I just not like Doyle? No. I really like him. I really wanted him and Cordelia to get together. The only main character on Angel who I don't absolutely love is Connor (I actually kind of hate him).
So was I avoiding the episodes because it would make me sad? Perhaps a bit but there's a bigger reason.

Not too long ago I rewatched all of Angel except those episodes and now I remember why: The essay I wrote about Wesley and Fred. I watched season three of Buffy and then skipped ahead to episode 1.10 of Angel because that's where Wesley comes in. I didn't need those episodes to write the essay so I didn't watch them.

I'm watching them now and actually dreading getting to episode 1.9. Sobbing may happen.

So here's my tribute to those episodes I didn't talk about in the Wesley/Fred essay: a summary of the first episode of Angel pulled completely from my very flawed memory.


1.1 "City Of"

Angel: Los Angeles . . . Well, let's save some people.

(He does.)

(Returns home to the lair of the Caped Cadaver.)

Doyle: Hi!
Angel: How'd you get into my house?
Doyle: Not important. I'm here to exposit your backstory!
Angel: Oh come on. Like anyone needs that.
Doyle: Hey, there could be random stragglers who've never seen an episode of Buffy and have no idea what you're about. Don't get all high and mighty. No one knows who I am either.
Angel: Yeah, who are you? You're like every sketchy Irish character Joss Whedon has written with a dash of Xander Harris.
Doyle: I resent that! I was practically the original sketchy Irish character, minus yourself of course, and I'm way more interesting than Xander bleeding Harris. I've got a ton of backstory and layers. I just hope I'm on the show long enough to reveal them.
Angel: Well, you're not human. I can smell that much.
Doyle: Hey, I happen to be very human . . . on my mother's side.
Angel: So other than telling me my own life story, why are you here?
Doyle: I had a vision that told me to come here. The Powers That Be give me visions of people in need, which are like violent migraines with pictures, because blah, blah, blah redemption. It's a big theme, you know? Problem is, I'm not a fighter as you can probably tell, outside of bars at least, . . . but you are. So why don't you buy me some booze and I'll tell you about the latest helpless human.
Angel: I don't know of any demons that thrive on alcohol.
Doyle: That's my human side.

(They wander the streets of L.A. Doyle drinks and yells at homeless people)

Doyle: See that waitress in the coffee shop? Go save her.
Angel: She looks fine.
Doyle: Well, she isn't. Go chat her up.
Angel: Why would a random woman talk to me?
Doyle: Have you seen you? (First of many Ho Yay moments between Angel and Doyle)

Angel: Hey.
Girl: Come to a swanky party with me?
Angel: Sure?

(At the party.)

Cordelia: OMG, Angel! Still a vampire?
Angel: I can't really get rid of that.
Cordelia: Right. Well, I'm gonna go talk to important people because my life is SO wonderful.
Angel: . . . I'll never see that girl again.

(A vampire named Russell Winters who was at the party kills coffee shop girl.)

Angel: NOOOOO, I failed!! (emos)

(Later. Cordelia's shitty apartment)

Cordelia: My life sucks ass. I can't get work and I can't afford food.
Friend on Phone: Russell Winters wants to meet you!
Cordelia: An investment guy?
Friend: Just do it. Connections and crap.
Cordelia: Okay.

(At Russell's mansion)

Cordelia: (exposits backstory becoming depressed with her own tale)
Russell: I can make the pain go away.
Cordelia: Wait a minute, you're a vampire!
Russell: No, I'm not.
Cordelia: Yes, you are! Don't fuck with me; I went to Sunnydale High. Killing vampires was practically a graduation requirement.
Russell: RAWR!
Cordelia: AHHH!

(Angel saves Cordelia but Russell gets away.)

(At Wolfram & Hart office.)

Angel: Huh. Evil law firm. The joke writes itself.
Lindsey: Get out of here.
Angel: This is Sparta!

(Kicks Russell out the window so he burns up in the sun.)

(At the office)

Cordelia: Hi!
Angel: Jeez, how do you people keep breaking into my secret lair?
Cordelia: I cleaned up and made some terrible coffee and I'm your new secretary now so you have to pay me weekly. 'Kay, bye.
Angel: . . .
Doyle: We should let her stay.
Angel: You think she's hot, huh?
Doyle: (says something to imply that she is boner-inducing. Might have been "stiffener" or "stiffening." And now that I think about it you could take that to refer to one's spine and not one's penis but since it's Doyle he probably means penis.)

(END ON UNNECESSARILY EPIC POSE OF ANGEL STARING DOWN AT LOS ANGELES.)


I'm sure that was very useful.

(Exit Kay)