Why You Don't Have Many Friends

There are three basic reasons why someone may not have a lot of friends. When I say not a lot of friends I do mean only about 1-4 people who they hold close outside of or including family. These are probably not the only reasons but they are the primary ones.

1. You actively chose not to have many friends.

Not having a lot of friends is by no means a red flag if someone is choosing to keep their friend group small. There are a lot of advantages to having only a few friends, particularly if you are a person who doesn’t like to socialize much. For some it’s easier to only have a few friends and for some it’s simply that they don’t enjoy the company of very many people so they have found the few people they like to spend time with.

2. You are not good at maintaining friendships.

As stated, having friends is truthfully a lot of work and there are some people who want to have friends but aren’t putting in the effort to keep up with friends and make plans with them. There are many reasons someone could be like this. Some people are very busy and then they feel it has been too long to try to reconnect in times when they can. Some people think they are not worth being friends with and decide that it’s up to the other person to keep the friendship going because that will show they actually want to bother with you. Some people have some sort of mental or physical disability which might keep them from keeping friendships alive. This is truly the most common reason.

3. You use friends for a functional purpose.

Most people who lack friends for this reason are the most oblivious as to why they don’t have friends. Unlike the people in group two who tend towards the self-deprecating side, people in this group have a tendency to externally think highly of themselves but internally have a lot of self disgust. People in this category have a tendency to rely on friends heavily for support but don’t reciprocate that support when the friend is in need, leading to a severing of ties. This category could be simplified as “people who aren’t good friends.”