Theories In Short

Here's a collection of theories that I have been meaning to write, some for years. They are all too short to write full on essays about so here they are in brief.

People believe they deserve control, love, and a purpose, but not a single one of these things is guaranteed.

The Emotion/Logic Spectrum:

Everyone falls somewhere on a spectrum with emotion on one end and logic on the other. There are benefits to spending time with people who linger close to your side of the spectrum in terms of relatability, but spending time with people on the opposite of the spectrum is good for perspective. When making a decision, it is best to consult people on both sides of the spectrum if you are in the middle or people on the opposite side from you if you lean more towards one side.

If you live too close to the edge of either spectrum, it can be really hard for you to understand the motivations of people who live on the other side. For instance, someone who lives at 95% logic might not understand emotional responses to behavior that they believe can be surmounted with logic. Often the very logical view the emotional as weak or annoying and the very emotional view the logical as heartless and boring. If you do live too far on one side, it will be a lot harder for you to interact with people on the other side, but it is vitally important that you do so in order to get along with people.

Also important is that some people aren’t good at determining where they are on the spectrum. Plenty of people who claim to be solely logic-driven are actually heavily, if not primarily, driven by emotion. This flaw has a tendency to fall along gender lines as men are socialized to not be emotional, although they are actually socialized to show only emotions like anger. Therefore, men who do show socially acceptable male emotions view themselves as completely logic driven even though they are not. People of all genders who acknowledge a tendency towards emotion are usually more accurate in their assessment, but many are more than capable of logic-based responses. It just takes some effort and cultivation that people usually don’t wish to put in to develop logical responses.

Resilience:

The most resilient people are always the ones who have had to face the most in terms of tragedies. Early exposure to tragedy is often the most beneficial as children are more malleable and resilient and can then carry that resilience into adulthood. A person who is happy, or at least contented, either has suffered tremendously and managed to work through it or hasn’t suffered at all. When someone who hasn’t suffered is then faced with tragedy later in life they will have one of two responses. Either they will have built up enough good faith from a life of ease that they will be able to deal with the tragedy with positivity, or they will become completely disillusioned and fall apart. The latter is usually the more common.

It is also worth noting that early exposure to tragedy, while beneficial for many, can also fully break someone before they have had a chance to thrive. This is why the type of tragedy and the after effects can be very important. Facing the death of a loved one is usually the kind of positive tragedy that builds resilience as it teaches children that good things don’t always last and that you have to value people in your life. If that loved one was a primary caregiver, however, this can lead to negative after effects as a result of the death. Something like a sexual assault is the kind of negative tragedy that can have negative effects on future relationships. A lesson may be learned, but it is a lesson that should not be taught to a child and it should never be taught in that way.

Money & Happiness:

The idea that money can’t buy happiness is wrong. Money can buy happiness. The fallacy is in thinking you’ll know how to use it. Money can buy you a lot of material possessions, which is how most people would use a surplus of money if acquired, but material possessions are not something that can bring anyone lasting happiness. What brings people lasting happiness is connection with others and the meeting of basic needs, things that money can make easier to accomplish.

What money can buy are healthcare for you and the people you love so they you can better enjoy life. It can buy quality time spent with people you love. It can buy shelter and food so you never have to worry about how to acquire those things. It can buy supplies needed to fulfill hobbies that bring you joy. It can buy experiences that you could not have without the time or money to have them.

Money can buy happiness, but wealth cannot.

Rumors:

            If you find out that there is a rumor going around about you that is true, you have no reason to be upset about the rumor unless you are ashamed of that truth. If you live your life without shame, these rumors will never affect you.

            If you find out that there is a rumor going around about you that is untrue, you have no reason to be upset about the rumor as it is false. A false rumor can usually be proven false. The only situation you have to fear is a false rumor that cannot be proven false.

Tom’s People:

·         Engineers: Those who create and control and construct.

·         Data Analysts: Those who investigate and study and display information found.

·         Philosophers: Those who question and think and discuss.

·         Storytellers: Those who experience and engage and entertain.

There is overlap in these types.

A storyteller is an engineer in the way they take experiences and construct them into a story. A philosopher might engineer a theory. A data analyst may engineer a display of their findings.

When a data analyst meditates on people, they are looking at quantifiable information they may express in words or numbers. When a philosopher meditates on people they do so qualitatively but in the abstract. When a storyteller meditates on people, they do so qualitatively but in the concrete.

Engineers have a philosophy of construction. Data analysts have a philosophy they wish to prove. Storytellers impart their life philosophy with every story they tell.