Theories In Short

Here's a collection of theories that I have been meaning to write, some for years. They are all too short to write full on essays about so here they are in brief.

People believe they deserve control, love, and a purpose, but not a single one of these things is guaranteed.

The Emotion/Logic Spectrum:

Everyone falls somewhere on a spectrum with emotion on one end and logic on the other. There are benefits to spending time with people who linger close to your side of the spectrum in terms of relatability, but spending time with people on the opposite of the spectrum is good for perspective. When making a decision, it is best to consult people on both sides of the spectrum if you are in the middle or people on the opposite side from you if you lean more towards one side.

If you live too close to the edge of either spectrum, it can be really hard for you to understand the motivations of people who live on the other side. For instance, someone who lives at 95% logic might not understand emotional responses to behavior that they believe can be surmounted with logic. Often the very logical view the emotional as weak or annoying and the very emotional view the logical as heartless and boring. If you do live too far on one side, it will be a lot harder for you to interact with people on the other side, but it is vitally important that you do so in order to get along with people.

Also important is that some people aren’t good at determining where they are on the spectrum. Plenty of people who claim to be solely logic-driven are actually heavily, if not primarily, driven by emotion. This flaw has a tendency to fall along gender lines as men are socialized to not be emotional, although they are actually socialized to show only emotions like anger. Therefore, men who do show socially acceptable male emotions view themselves as completely logic driven even though they are not. People of all genders who acknowledge a tendency towards emotion are usually more accurate in their assessment, but many are more than capable of logic-based responses. It just takes some effort and cultivation that people usually don’t wish to put in to develop logical responses.

Resilience:

The most resilient people are always the ones who have had to face the most in terms of tragedies. Early exposure to tragedy is often the most beneficial as children are more malleable and resilient and can then carry that resilience into adulthood. A person who is happy, or at least contented, either has suffered tremendously and managed to work through it or hasn’t suffered at all. When someone who hasn’t suffered is then faced with tragedy later in life they will have one of two responses. Either they will have built up enough good faith from a life of ease that they will be able to deal with the tragedy with positivity, or they will become completely disillusioned and fall apart. The latter is usually the more common.

It is also worth noting that early exposure to tragedy, while beneficial for many, can also fully break someone before they have had a chance to thrive. This is why the type of tragedy and the after effects can be very important. Facing the death of a loved one is usually the kind of positive tragedy that builds resilience as it teaches children that good things don’t always last and that you have to value people in your life. If that loved one was a primary caregiver, however, this can lead to negative after effects as a result of the death. Something like a sexual assault is the kind of negative tragedy that can have negative effects on future relationships. A lesson may be learned, but it is a lesson that should not be taught to a child and it should never be taught in that way.

Money & Happiness:

The idea that money can’t buy happiness is wrong. Money can buy happiness. The fallacy is in thinking you’ll know how to use it. Money can buy you a lot of material possessions, which is how most people would use a surplus of money if acquired, but material possessions are not something that can bring anyone lasting happiness. What brings people lasting happiness is connection with others and the meeting of basic needs, things that money can make easier to accomplish.

What money can buy are healthcare for you and the people you love so they you can better enjoy life. It can buy quality time spent with people you love. It can buy shelter and food so you never have to worry about how to acquire those things. It can buy supplies needed to fulfill hobbies that bring you joy. It can buy experiences that you could not have without the time or money to have them.

Money can buy happiness, but wealth cannot.

Rumors:

            If you find out that there is a rumor going around about you that is true, you have no reason to be upset about the rumor unless you are ashamed of that truth. If you live your life without shame, these rumors will never affect you.

            If you find out that there is a rumor going around about you that is untrue, you have no reason to be upset about the rumor as it is false. A false rumor can usually be proven false. The only situation you have to fear is a false rumor that cannot be proven false.

Tom’s People:

·         Engineers: Those who create and control and construct.

·         Data Analysts: Those who investigate and study and display information found.

·         Philosophers: Those who question and think and discuss.

·         Storytellers: Those who experience and engage and entertain.

There is overlap in these types.

A storyteller is an engineer in the way they take experiences and construct them into a story. A philosopher might engineer a theory. A data analyst may engineer a display of their findings.

When a data analyst meditates on people, they are looking at quantifiable information they may express in words or numbers. When a philosopher meditates on people they do so qualitatively but in the abstract. When a storyteller meditates on people, they do so qualitatively but in the concrete.

Engineers have a philosophy of construction. Data analysts have a philosophy they wish to prove. Storytellers impart their life philosophy with every story they tell.

2017 Potentially Oscar Nominated Movies

Are the Oscars earlier this year or have I just lost track of all time? I have done terribly in terms of watching all the movies I want to see this year within the appropriate time frame. Just yesterday I realized the Oscars were TOMORROW and that I haven't written my yearly round up post yet because I'm not even close to finishing all the 2016 movies on my list. Alas, I have an excuse: graduate school. I have been in grad school non-stop since May of last year. I graduate in early May and if I haven't fully caught up by then, I'll have time but right now I can only speak to what I have seen. As with last year, I'm going to be using the "few words" format because grad student. 

Actually, as I'm looking through my movies, it seems I did see a lot of movies this year but a good portion of them were movies from the last six years that I missed and I had been catching up. I've been on this mission to really clean up my movie list since last year and that was part of the effort I was putting in. Hopefully, I will reach my goal of getting it to 200 films this year.

Also as with last year, I'm going to list movies I don't care to see. In a bit of an update from last year, I did end up watching The Big Short and I actually loved it so, of course, there is always a chance I may see any of these. But probably not.

Movies I Don't Really Care About:

Hacksaw Ridge: I probably would have wanted to see this (I like movies about suffering) had it not been for a very specific set of experiences. I work at a bookstore and for months before this movie came out I had people asking for the book (often by the wrong title or with just a description) and explaining that it was going to be a movie. When I looked it up, I realized that it is supposed to go in the Christian fiction section. My immediate assumption was that the movie was some niche thing that would be in few theaters and not get much recognition. Imagine my surprise. Even if this movie doesn't mention God or Jesus or religion once, I'm still pretty sure it's not how I want to spend my time.

Hell or High Water: I read the description at one time and was just overcome with not caring. Something about a western and bank robbery and I'm asleep. Sorry.

Jackie: I feel like I should want to see this, at least for the costumes, but I just can't bring myself to want to.

O.J.: Made In America: I kind of want to see this and it will probably win Best Documentary but it's eight hours long. I don't have the time. At least not now. Also how can something that long even qualify as a movie. . .

And the movies I haven't seen yet. As I see them, I will move them to the appropriate section.

Movies I Need To See:
After Spring (this doc was directed by a college friend's sister; no clue how I will see it though since it's only in selected cities nowhere near me)
Embrace Of The Serpent (technically last year)
The Handmaiden
The Little Prince
Neruda
Under The Shadow

And now the lists. Movies with a + were ones not nominated for Oscars. 

Previous Years: 2016  2015  2014  2013  2012  2011


Movies I Loved:

Moonlight: The cinematography and music choices made my life. Also, the last 30 minutes.

Hidden Figures: I was completely enthralled by this movie the entire time. And I cried slightly.

Arrival: Science fiction + language studies = I'm a happy camper.

13th: The only movie I gave 5 stars to this year. Didn't even have to think about it.

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story: I went from really liking this movie to loving it the more I thought about it. Perhaps unfairly, the novelization may have colored my view but whatever.

Moana: The ocean is my life. And I wanted to cry at almost every song. 

Zootopia: I watched this. Then I watched it again two days later.

Sing Street+: This is just such a "me" movie. I'm hopelessly partial.

10 Cloverfield Lane+: Any thriller that makes me genuinely care about the characters and makes them behave like real people is doing something right. This one has layers.

Green Room+: Nazi punks, Nazi punks, Nazi punks, FUCK OFF. Also, see above comment.

Tower+: Really fascinating way to do a powerful documentary.


Movies I Really Liked:

The Lobster: One of the weirdest movies I've seen in a while. Very theater of the absurd.

La La Land: It seems like everyone loved ("it's so fun like a classic movie musical") or hated this ("fuck these boring white people"). I thought it was really good for reasons that no one is discussing but it's not without its flaws.

Fences: Performances: excellent. Direction: needed to be more creative to distance itself from the stage show.

Lion: A well done story but so transparently Oscar-baity if I'm being honest. Spent a lot of time staring at Dev Patel though so there's that. Glad David Wenham is getting work.

Captain Fantastic: I enjoyed the crap out of this. Kind of picked up some parenting ideas.

Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them: I appreciated this one more the more I thought about it and on a second watch. 

The White Helmets: Man, oh man.

The VVitch+: I'm weak for anything really historical. And witches. And demons.

Ghostbusters+: I laughed a lot. It was also distracting.

Deadpool+: Also laughed a lot. The only superhero movie I even thought to bother with. Well sorta (see far below).

The Neon Demon+: I thought this was better than "Only God Forgives." Still riding the Refn train. Got distracted a lot by Jena Malone until that one scene . . . (Note: I was a real pervert at the movies this year apparently)

The Nice Guys+: Solid Shane Blackness. No "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang" but very similar.

A Street Cat Named Bob+: My heart was warmed exactly the right amount.

Eye In The Sky+: Tense. So tense. 

The Edge Of Seventeen+: I have been waiting for a teen movie like "Easy A" to happen again.

Weiner+: More thought provoking than I was expecting. The intersection of politics and personal lives.

Elle+: Verhoven is on his game. Violent and unsettling and engaging.

Paterson+: Quiet. Soft.

Love & Friendship+: Hilarious period drama.

Kubo And The Two Strings: Laika always does good work but never seems to get enough recognition. 

Finding Dory+: This was a fine sequel but I kind of can't remember it (Unlike Moana and Zootopia).


Movies I Liked:

Noctural Animals: I enjoyed this but felt like I missed the point of this film.

Florence Foster Jenkins: Perfectly fine biopic. Nice to see Nina Arianda in movies!

Imperium+: I predicted the end early but I was still on the edge of my seat for most of the film.

Hush+: Unique alteration for a horror film.


Movies I Thought Were Okay:

Nerve+: I watched it because I thought it'd be fun. It was.

Goat+: I like suffering. 

The Purge: Election Year+: I must watch every Purge movie. Such a good concept; Always pooly executed.

Me Before You+: Wanted to understand both why people like the book and why this film was controversial. It was actually better than expected but still kind of shlocky.

Pride And Prejudice And Zombies+: More 'watched because it was fun.' Great combination of things I like: period drama and ladies kicking ass.

Batman: The Killing Joke+: This should have been better. The first 30 minutes were absolutely shameful to Batgirl.


Movies I Thought Were Over-Rated:

Manchester By The Sea: It was okay. No idea why this movie is so praised. Casey Affleck is a bad person.


Movies I Didn't Like:

The Girl On The Train+: Only okay book. Not good movie. Love Emily Blunt though. She always does a good job.

Suicide Squad: What is plot? Why do I develop more than three characters? Can Jared Leto be more of a embarassment?

Pass Thru+: Neil Breen should be going down in history with Tommy Wiseau in the Bad Movie Hall Of Fame. Unfortunately this one wasn't as good delightfully bad as 2013's Fateful Findings. Actually, why did I put this in this category? I really liked this, just in the wrong way.

"Black Mirror" Episodes Ranked

In honor of my new favorite show Black Mirror, I have decided to write a review of the show so far but to keep it short and sweet (relatively, of course, as I have a tendency to write lengthy, rambling blog posts and I don't want to nor do I feel like I should this time).

I have obviously been doing a great terrible job of sticking to my "Wait Three Seasons Before You Watch It" rule and I have made resolutions to fix this, which I'm actually pretty good at sticking to, but I needed to watch this show first. I just needed to. I felt it in my marrow. My rule is harder to apply with strikingly short British shows that only have three episodes a season. Fewer episodes generally mean more time to devote to creating each episode which often can lead to better quality.

So how do I describe Black Mirror? It's essentially The Twilight Zone with a different set of actors in a different verse every episode but with each episode being a commentary on society and its relationship with technology. And it is AWESOME. Seriously, it's one of the best shows I've ever seen. I pretty much decided it was my new favorite show after one episode. However, while I would usually say "Everyone go watch it", I actually don't here because some of this show is actually kind of intense or disturbing and there are some people (my mother) who might have some issues with that. Prepare to be freaked out and/or have your mind blow before you decide to watch it.

And now, a ranking of the seven episodes so far. It's pretty free of spoilers unless you want to be entirely surprised in which case just watch the show.

7. Season One, Episode Three: "The Entire History Of You"
For the reference, the least exciting episode of Black Mirror is still amazing and well worth watching over most other shows you could cram into your brain thing. This episode has probably the most straight forward and conventional plot of any episode: a man is suspicious on his wife's friendship with another man. The technological aspect is that in this future most people have things in their brains called grains that enable them to replay any memory. The episode begs the question of whether this tech is a good thing or not, leaving the answer kind of up to you even if the characters do come to their own conclusions.

6. Season Two, Christmas Special: "White Christmas"
To me this episode was a bit of a mess. It had three mini stories within an overarching story and the technology of it was revealed far more slowly than in previous episodes. Personally, I thought that having so many stories kind of weakened the overall themes especially when the stories themselves were kind of obvious. This episode was kept from the last spot because the last 10 minutes actually had some interesting twists and redeeming aspects and because if you look past the smaller tech themes, you have a story that focuses on mortality and judgment in a pretty clever way. Also, Jon Hamm is valiantly still attempting to guest star in everything ever. Good luck, Jon!

5. Season Two, Episode Three: "The Waldo Moment"
Funny how the two most political episodes take place in the modern day instead of 20 minutes into the future. This episode focuses on the mockery of politics when a cartoon bear jokingly runs for office as part of a marketing tool. There are a lot of themes in this one surrounding how politics is viewed by both politicians and the people and their ineffectiveness. There's also a debate about idea ownership, a personal story of a broken comedian, and the idea of how meaningless images can be assigned meaning (I read academic texts on this topic for my Japanese minor; true story). My only real complaints about this episode are that there was something a bit off about the pacing and that I can't believe anyone would find that bear funny (although I completely believe people would vote for it).

4. Season Two, Episode One: "Be Right Back"
Think "Her" but with a dead guy. A new service is provided that creates the illusion of talking to a deceased loved one using their public online presence as a basis to create them. The result is pretty much what you would expect but it's still a wonderful journey to watch with an ending that you probably won't expect. Aside from showing the fallacies in thinking you know someone from their online persona and how those are cultivated, it also meditates on mourning and how the internet and it's relative permanence creates virtual graveyards.

3. Season Two, Episode Two: "White Bear"
A woman wakes up with amnesia to see a world where mostly everyone has been turned into voyeuristic bystanders constantly filming others while the few people that haven't are embracing their murderous tendencies or running from those who are. The episode shows a fantastic result of the bystander effect and, even more so, the way phone cameras have allowed us to detach ourselves from experience. There's also another layer of questioning whether people are inherently evil and what exactly is an appropriate punishment.


2. Season One, Episode One: "The National Anthem"
The first one really stuck with me and I think that was the point. This episode manages to go from a bit humorous to completely horrifying and I think you can use when that point is for each individual person as a guide to who they are. The episode takes place in the present, which might make it even scarier, and talks about traditional media vs social media (a topic that is already all over the place and has been for years), how opinions shift in this instant world and the effect they have, and the power one can have if they know how to utilize technology.


1. Season One, Episode Two: "Fifteen Million Merits"
I could write a master's thesis on this episode. Probably two. While some people might say the first episode is more disturbing, personally, this was the one I could not stop thinking about. In a dystropia where everyone uses exercise bikes to power the world and can only amuse themselves with bad games and reality shows, nothing feels real anymore. The attempt to find and spread genuine human emotion has terrifying results. There are two many themes in this episode to even try to explain them. This episode has such an impact that it was referred in the Christmas Special. It will ruin your day. And it is one of the best episodes of television I have ever watched in my life.

So, in conclusion, I love this show and anyone who knows what love is will understand.

Good Recent Horror Movies For Your Halloween Needs.

Oh, Halloween! How I love thee. Since I have managed to write an entry every year for the last two years with a tie-in to my favorite holiday (last year was a list of my favorite Satans and the year before that was a personal account of why Halloween is so important to me), I've decided to give you some suggestions of good horror movies to celebrate the season with that came out after the year 2000.

A lot of people seem to be under the impression that making decent horror movies has become something of a dead art. The 20s and 30s saw the first film incarnations of gothic novels like Dracula, Frankenstein, and The Phantom of the Opera. Hitchcock popularized (or some would say perfected) the art in the 50s and early 60s alongside films like House on Haunted Hill, The Haunting, and later in the 60s, Night of the Living Dead and Rosemary's Baby. The 1970s and 1980s are full of classic horror films like Carrie, Nightmare On Elm Street, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Wicker Man, Halloween, The Exorcist, The Shining, and many more. So what do we have now?

Good horror movies are not extinct but they do seem to be harder to notice nowadays. In the current world of short attention spans and producers determined to make money over quality, it often feels like the horror films that you hear about are either remakes, endless sequels (I'm looking at you Saw franchise), or driven entirely by jump scares and a sense of schadenfreude at seeing stupid teenagers die horrible deaths.

Being someone who just enjoys watching horror even if it's not good (especially if it's not good), I have managed to come across plenty of actual decent films that can scare you while still managing to tell a real story with well-written characters.

Just as few notes:
* I intend to be strict with my year 2000 cut off so there are some good 90s films that will not make the cut. The 90s were almost 15 years ago. They are not modern.
* No remakes or sequels. I'm trying to point out good original movies.
* Horror-comedies will not be gracing this list. I love horror-comedies and highly recommend Scream, Cabin in the Woods, Tucker & Dale vs. Evil, and Inhuman Resources if a film deconstructing horror movies or joking around while scaring is more your thing.
* The "Scare Factor" is a zero to ten scale based on how much I personally was freaked out by the movie. Not how often I jumped (I can be very jumpy) or how much I screamed (I don't) but just how much it really got to me in a general uneasiness, can't-quite-sleep-right kind of way. Whether or not a horror movie should be judged based on how scary it is would be a debate for another time (alongside whether you can judge a comedy by how much you laughed) but for now I'm listing quality films but including this scale just for those who want an idea of how scary a film might be (in my own radically biased opinion).

And with that, the films listed from oldest to newest:

Final Destination (2000)

I will admit that I do not have the same affection for this movie that a lot of people seem to have but I understand why people like it so much. Although it does fall under the blanket trope of dead teenager movies, the teenagers in this movie feel a lot more real and likeable than the usual sort who you are supposed to want dead for the unforgivable crime of foolish choices. The movie also has a fairly interesting villain: death itself. Death is an inescapable bad guy. The movie also ties in common fears of bad dreams being prophetic and of airplanes. The sequels vary in quality (my personal preference goes 1, 3, 2, 5, and 4, which should never have happened) and have a tendency to add new rules to the franchise but the first will always be something of a classic.
Scare Factor: 2 (Only scary in that death is the only thing I truly fear.)


The Others (2001)
This movie is full of things I love. It's a period film that takes place right after World War II in a remote country house where the lady of the house, whose husband has gone missing in the war, hires some new creepy servants to take care of the place and her children who can't go out in the sunlight. Most of the horror of the movie comes from the atmosphere and the suggestion that there is something more going on than what you are seeing and that no one seems trustworthy. That uneasy feeling persists even as more details are revealed until you reach an interesting ending. 
Scare Factor: 1 (Eerie but the kind of eerie I would like to live among.)

Pulse (2001)
There are a lot of 90s Japanese horror films like Audition and Ringu that I couldn't put on this list so I will make do with this one. What makes good Japanese horror different from good horror in other countries is that it is often tinged with an element of social commentary. This movie in particular uses horror and ghosts as a way to tell a story about how technology is driving people to be more lonely and removed from the world through two different main plots and many people's intertwining experiences. Also very atmospheric with its heavy shadows and occasional post-apocalyptic feeling, sometimes it can feel like a physical representation of depression which can be a lot scarier than a boogeyman.
Scare Factor: 4 (Too real, man.)

Suicide Club (2002)
Another Japanese horror film worth mentioning that I have seen quite a lot of times considering how disturbing I find it. A series of mass suicides start happening in Japan, especially among seemingly happy teenagers, which leads detectives to believe suicide clubs are forming. A commentary on pop music obsession and the cult of wanting to fit in or a reflection of cultural attitudes towards suicide in a country that's famous for it? Maybe both. Draw your own conclusions. Also, although this movie is peppered with some comedy, there are so many terrifying or gross things that even the comedy in hindsight becomes sad. I have never seen the prequel, Noriko's Dinner Table, but that also exists.
Scare Factor: 5 (Everything about the bowling alley is nope nope nope.)

28 Days Later (2002)
A zombie movie for you. A man wakes up from a coma to find that the island of Great Britain has been overrun with a virus that has turned people into zombies. What makes this zombie movie different from a lot of zombie movies is the fact that it starts in a world that has already been crippled by the attacks but you are following a clueless protagonist who has to learn how to survive in an undead world. The real meat of the movie comes from the introduction of the soldiers where you see a disturbingly realistic portrayal of how humans can treat each other in times of crisis.
Scare Factor: 2 (Humans are way scarier than the zombies.)

A Tale Of Two Sisters (2003)
A Korean psychological horror film that plays out like a family drama. A girl returns from a mental hospital to live with her sister, father, and evil stepmother where everything seems to be a bit odd. The stepmother appears to be abusing the girl's sister but at the same time the sister seems like she might also be doing some really messed up things. The movie manages to keep the viewer consistently unnerved and curious in all elements of the film right down to the startling but beautiful set designs and an ending that twists at least twice before you finally get the full story.
Scare Factor: 1 (Pretty but harmless.)

Saw (2004)
I know I dissed the franchise earlier in this post but I only do that because I love the first movie so much and everything else made after the second film, which is okay, is an insult to the original. The film surrounds a serial killer named Jigsaw who puts people who he thinks are taking advantage of their lives in puzzle-like situations that they must escape to live, thereby, in his mind, proving that they value their lives. While one plot is following a search for Jigsaw, the main plot is about two men who are trapped in a Jigsaw-set-up room who get to know each other and try to find ways to escape. While the films now have a reputation for gore, this film was mostly a character study that's almost Hitchcockian in intention.
Scare Factor: 3 (At least partially because of the time my brother closed the door in the garage on me while shouting "game over", leaving me in the pitch black. Much angry yelling ensured.)

Funny Games (2007)
I'm kind of cheating on my own rules with this one because it is a remake but it's a shot-for-shot remake done by the same director with the same music, script, and set except that it's in English instead of German and uses different actors. This movie is the same as the 1997 movie as far as I or anyone else is concerned. The film is about a happy family getting tortured by two random guys but according to the director was meant to be a commentary on violence in the media and not a horror film. Well, Death of the Author because this is a really scary film that may leave you walking away thinking about reality versus fiction or about how you should never let strangers borrow eggs. 
Scare Factor: 7 (Don't talk to anyone ever.)

Let The Right One In (2008)
After three movies where regular, albeit messed-up, people are the antagonists, how about a cuddly vampire film? This Swedish film is definitely a horror film but it would be wrong to call it that without also noting that it's kind of a romance and definitely a coming-of-age film. It's about a boy who is bullied by his classmates making friends who a girl who is a vampire. Love ensures. Also, a lot of violent murders in the snowy woods and locker rooms.
Scare Factor: 1 (Too happy to be scary in spite of the gore.)

The Loved Ones (2009)
This Australian film is sometimes referred to as a horror comedy but I really must not be getting the joke. A great example of how horror movies benefit from well developed characters, a teen who had been dealing with depression since the death of his father is kidnapped by the father of a girl whose invitation to a high school dance he turned down. From there his girlfriend and family search for him while he is made to endure various tortures from the slightly incestuous family before the plot is turned up to eleven. Maybe there's a little humor is the casual behavior of the family as they do these ridiculous things but mostly I think the sane response is wide-eyed terror.
Scare Factor: 6 ("AM I NOT PRETTY ENOUGH?")

The House Of The Devil (2009)
There is something magical about how this movie was made only a few years ago and yet, manages to replicate the feeling of an 80s horror movie down to every last detail of the score and the font the opening credits were in. The plot surrounds a college student taking a babysitting job in order to pay her rent and is another film that plays into the "people are really messed up" theme that can often be scarier than monsters that you can believe aren't real. It's a slow-burning film that really builds to its terror and the payoff is completely worth it.
Scare Factor: 9 (I have multiple Satans in my room and yet, ritualistic sacrifice to demonic things still manages to be a trigger point for me when it's outside of an episode of Buffy or Angel.)

In Fear (2013)
I'm going to be road-tripping through Ireland in a few months and you can bet that this movie will be on my mind the whole time. A guy and a girl who know each other through mutual friends decide to go to a music festival in Ireland and the guy has booked a hotel room for the night. However, as they try to get to their hotel, they find themselves going in circles as weirder and weirder things start to happen. Interesting enough, all the reactions in the film are real and the actors didn't even know the whole script with a lot of in made up based on how they responded in different situations. It's one of those movies that makes you wonder how you would react under the same circumstances.
Scare Factor: 7 (Still checking my backseat for attractive, Irish psychopaths.)

The Conjuring (2013)
Some of the films above have ghosts but this one is the only real story of a haunting. Based on a true story, the film follows Ed and Lorraine Warren, exorcists by trade, as they true to cleanse the house of the Perron family. While many movies have been based on the Warren's work (The Amityville Horror, The Haunting In Connecticut, and most recently Annabelle), this was the first one that featured them as the primary characters with the family rounding out the cast. There are plenty of scary things going on in the house, sometimes even in broad daylight, but a lot of the film is focused on telling a story just as much as scaring.
Scare Factor: 2 (I want to believe in ghosts far more than I actually believe in ghosts.)

Sorority Row (2009)
Just kidding. This movie is kind of dumb. And yet I love it in a way that is unfortunate but true.
Scare Factor: 0 (Carrie Fischer has a shotgun though!)


Happy Haunting!

Comparing American And British Words With My British Boyfriend

I think the title says it all. We decided to look at different British and American words that mean the same thing and try to objectively decide which one was better. I, the American, am "K" and he, the Brit, is "Z."

Soccer or Football?
K: I will concede that football is the better word. It more accurately describes what you're doing.
Z: With American football you're mostly running with a ball in your hands. Where does soccer come from? *looks it up* It apparently is a shortened word for "association football".
K: But what is "association football"?
Z: FIFA and organizations like that.
K: So what is it if you do it in your backyard?
Z: Black market football.

Cart or Trolley?
Z: I don't have particular feelings one way or the other. I think of a horse drawn cart when I hear cart.
K: Is that not what the thing is? It's the no-horse-needed version. What's a trolley then?
Z: I don't know. Rhymes with brolley. I don't know. I don't have strong feelings.
K: I do because a cart is a word with a clear origin. Whereas for me, a trolley means something different.
Z: I bet it's fucking French. *looks it up* It's English and it comes from TROLL?
K: How does it come from troll?
Z: It's a Suffolk dialect of "to roll".
K: Oh. Cart's still better. Trolley is just a word born of a specific dialect's contraction.

Trolley or Tram?
K: For me, it kind of goes both ways.
Z: I see them as two distinct methods of transport. The tram is what we used in Dublin and the trolley is what you get in San Francisco. The trolley has a distinct old timey feel even though trolley apparently only comes from the early 19th century.
K: Yeah, I live near a trolley museum and for me a trolley is an older and usually open air thing on a rail and a tram is a more modern, closed thing on a rail usually with connecting carts.
Z: What about the Boston trolley?
K: I guess it's a trolley based on age? When did tram start being used?
Z: *looks it up* A tram is from the early 19th century in German and Dutch coming from "trame" which was a beam in a mine on which public street cars were modeled.
K: I guess tram is definitely the right word in Amsterdam. It seems like we really can't nail down a difference.
Z: I'll call it a draw and say whatever the company names it is right in that context. Maybe trolleys are a subset of trams. I don't know.
K: There's an added complication that in America we call those golf cart trains trams as well. These words are impossible.

Elevator or Lift?
Z: They both mean the exact same fucking thing.
K: I conquer. Both words 100% valid.
Z: Roald Dahl is very British and he called it "Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator", not lift.
K: Well, he was Welsh. 
Z: That's no excuse. Wales is mountains and valleys anyway; there's no place for lifts. However I do think lift might imply more goods and elevator might imply more people. I think it only depends on what country you're in. But then again what do you call a lift that carries food?
K: A dumbwaiter. Wait, did you mean food in a restaurant or warehouse items?
Z: Warehouse items.
K: Then, elevator.
Z: A goods elevator.
K: Just an elevator. Maybe some people get specific about it but not typically.

Apartment or Flat?
K: Here's the thing: Apartment is technically wrong because they're connected but they are apart from freestanding houses. On the flip side, what the heck is a flat? That could mean anything.
Z: It's something that happens when one of your tires gets punctured.
K: Exactly!
Z: It's a not commonly known fact that flats in the UK are made of tire.
K: Really?
Z: *long pause* Remember that time you asked me what a prefect was and I just read you the description on a Harry Potter Wiki?
K: I'm an idiot. Sorry.
Z: *looks it up* It comes from the Scottish for a floor of a house and Old English "flet" for a dwelling, floor, or ground.
K: So it could be anywhere that you chose to live?
Z: Pretty much so long as it is flat, the adjective.
K: So both words are problematic. Is there one that seems better?
Z: Not particularly. I think some things are more appropriate for either word.
K: Such as?
Z: If you lived in council accommodation, a high raise concrete block, then it's a flat.
K: But it's called that because that's what you use in England.
Z: Yeah.
K: So that doesn't mean anything to this argument.
Z: Well, I think flat is more associated with lower quality housing. If I was getting a place in the Shard I would say it was an apartment.
K: I guess that makes sense actually. A flat does sound cheaper. It's kind of like how there's a difference between a tenement and an apartment building.
Z: Yeah.

Truck or Lorry?
Z: In the UK, truck, lorry, and van are all different methods of conveyance. A van is what you would think of. A truck has to be flatbed in some way.
K: Here a truck can be a pick-up truck or a tractor trailer truck which are vastly different. 
Z: *sends picture* This is a truck.
K: So a farming truck? It's a bigger version of a pick-up.
Z: The front needs to still look like a car. It has to have a bonnet. *sends picture* This is a lorry. 
K: That's a tractor trailer truck. So essentially you use different words and we call everything a truck. Where does lorry come from?
Z: *looks up* Origin obscure. Meaning "to lug" or "pull around". Possibly comes from words meaning cow dung or heavy.
K: I think Americans just went the simple route. So which is better: tractor trailer truck or lorry?
Z: I'm not sure. There's not a big difference either way.
K: I would say that tractor trailer truck is a better word because it clearly describes what it is but that it's convenient to have a different word to distinguish a tractor trailer truck from a regular truck.
Z: I guess if you needed a shorter word for tractor trailer.
K: We'd say truck. Context always seems to clear things up without any more words needed.
Z: I don't really have an opinion.

Waiting in Line or Queuing?
K: In America we use "queue" but mainly to mean something like a "Netflix queue". Something more inanimate, I guess? Waiting in line makes sense as a phrase but then I don't know the origin of queuing.
Z: *looks it up* Originally used for "tail" in French then became "line of dancers" in middle English and then extended sense to "line of people" by 1837. Queuing is actually different from waiting in line here. You queue for services like at the supermarket but for a bathroom you wait in line.
K: Is the bathroom not a service? I've had to pay to use a bathroom in England.
Z: I think it's contextually sensitive. You wouldn't say, "I queued for tickets", you wait in line for tickets. Queuing implicitly implies shopping while you could wait in line for anything.
K: So then why is queuing even a thing? Why keep the word around as verb? As a noun I can understand its practicality because "line" is a vague word and at least in the way Americans use "queue" there isn't really a better word for it. You could call it a "Netflix list" for instance but queue implies priority that list doesn't necessarily.
Z: Queue is shorter than waiting in line. It's superior in that sense.
K: But is it better when it has such limited uses?
Z: Maybe I'm overestimating the times when you can't use it. Queuing is better.
K: I maintain that waiting in line makes more sense in construction and is more practical since it can always be used but that queue as a noun is useful,

Chips or Crisps?
Z: Crisps.
K: Why?
Z: It's an onomatopoeia. It IS crispy. Crisps aren't chipped potatoes; they're shaved. It more effectively describes what they actually are.
K: I would like to point out that when we first met and got into a chips v. crisps v. fries debate I said that would should agree to never say chips because it was a vague word in all senses and that we should both only use crisps and fries and you declined. With that in mind, the next one . . .

Fries or Chips?
K: Fries. Fries is a better word because they are fried and chips is vague.
Z: No. Chips are chipped potatoes like wood chips or cement chips. Chips are a subset of fries. They are steak fries but it's a better word.
K: But a chip can also be something small, like a chip in a teacup. A chip from a potato would be more like the indent left behind when you dig an eye out of it.
Z: I think they're both acceptable terms.
K: Well, I think the fact that chip can be applied to two entirely different things that just happen to be made of the same vegetable says something. Chip doesn't denote a size. It is a flawed word. Crisps and fries are far more specific. Both countries should throw out "chip" as a word.
Z: Fish and Fries.
K: It's got nice alliteration.

Eggplant or Aubergine?
Z: Aubergine.
K: I agree. There's no egg in eggplant. The word makes no sense.
Z: It doesn't even look like an egg.
K: I am curious where the word aubergine comes from though just for my own interest.
Z: *looks it up* It comes from the French which comes from the Catalan from the Arabic from the Persian from the Sanskrit.
K: Oh sure.

Zucchini or Courgette?
K: They're both vastly different words for the same thing so I guess it's a question of where they come from or what they imply. I just find it weird that the British use the French instead of the Italian when they should have decided to get rid of it out of spite by now.
Z: Nice point. I actually found a whole website for this one. Apparently they are different because they refer to different stages of development even though they are in the same vegetable family. If they are harvested before they grow to 15-20cm they are courgettes and if they get bigger they are zucchini.
K: That's stupid.
Z: Yeah. There's an even split across the English speaking world in whether they use zucchini or courgette. Except in Scandinavia they use squash because what the fuck do they know. (N.B.: He's half Swedish.)
K: My conclusion: whatever.
Z: It's a matter of when in Rome or when in Paris.

Sink or Wash Basin?
Z: I would say basin because sink doesn't refer to what happens in a basin. It doesn't sink, it drains.
K: I inclined to agree but if you take "wash" out of the equation, sink and basin are equally vague from a visual standpoint. And it's not called a sink because the water sinks; it's a sink because it is sunken in. 
Z: *looks it up* Basin comes from water vessel in vulgar Latin.
K: Well, when have you ever used sink when not referring to water in some way. What does one usually sink in?
Z: Self doubt?
K: I think they're both good words. To me sink conjures the image of a kitchen sink because it is a sunken portion of the counter while a basin is more what you have in a bathroom.
Z: They both work but I don't think sink is quite as good.
K: I understand that. I might even agree.

Cell or Mobile?
K: Mobile is an easier word to grasp. They both are capitalizing on different aspects of the phone and it's mobility is probably more obvious than its cellular nature.
Z: Yeah.
K: Nothing else?
Z: I don't really care. Everyone says phone anyway. In German, it's "mein handy."
K: So the Germans win.

Uburger or Gourmet Burger Kitchen?
Z: Oh fuck you.
K: Because you know Uburger in Boston is better than the UK's beloved GBK.
Z: I refer you to my previous "Oh fuck you."